Hazel Nut 🌰

Loving seeing the squirrels this January in my local park as they scamper to find their stash of well hidden nuts. Something about them makes me want to pick them up and squeeze. But then I’m like that with most furry creatures.

Love a hazel nut too. So rich in colour, smooth in shell, delicious in taste, rich in nutrition. The 14th Century mystic Julian of Norwich had a vision of a hazel nut (1). She saw it clearly in the palm of her hand and knew that God made it, loves it, protects it.

Cracking open nuts at Christmas is a fond memory. We had a black bowl engraved with pretty coloured flowers around the outside. It would hold a variety of hazels, walnuts, brazils and a shining sturdy silver nutcracker would rest on the top. I loved trying to crack open the nuts, but every so often I would smash through hard shell to the soft, tender fruit inside. Too much pressure shattering the shell. My Dad was skilled at this and would gently crack the outer shell to reveal the tender fruit inside and hand it to me. It’s a delicate art, borne out of much love for the nut inside.

I hear talk about being broken. Some talk about God breaking us. It’s natural to shy away from such thoughts. Leave that to the aesthetics. Too much pain in life already. Hard times, poor health, loss of loved ones. But on reflection the process is less about breaking down into bits and more about a divine intervention to reveal my true self.

Thomas Merton talked about our true and our false self (2). The false self is the one we wind around ourselves, through the trappings of life: appearance, performance, possessions. Impressive to others, unseen by God. He only sees my true self, the one He created me to be before time began. The one that sings and resonates with joy at simply being.

On reflection the breaking is less about breaking me down into bits, and more about the gentle and necessary work of a skilled Father carefully cracking the outer shell of my false self and revealing my true self. It’s a delicate art, borne out of much love for the nut inside.

1. Julian of Norwich, Revelations of Divine Love (1982) Middlesex: Penguin, Chapter 5, p68.
2. Merton, Thomas,(1961), New Seeds of Contemplation, New York: New Directions, Chapter 5, p34.